The Question

 

 

Chris stopped in shock as he walked by his sister's room. They both were taught at a young age to be neat. Looking at his sister sitting on her bed with clothes strewn all over it and the surrounding floor, he could imagine his parents' clucking tones. Leaning back against the doorframe, he dryly asked, "Should I call in for a rescue squad or can you swim out of that sea?"

 

Jennifer looked up, her eyes filling with tears. "Oh, ha, ha. Just go away and leave me alone."

 

Chris still loved picking on his sister, but tears? Well, he hadn't seen tears for at least a decade, since she turned seventeen. Carefully he picked his way through the fabrics, picking up some of the blouses and dresses still attached to hangers and made room before sitting down next to her. "What's wrong, sis? You and Mikey have a fight?" he gently teased. She and her current boyfriend had been seeing each other for nearly six months. If she didn't come home every night or Mike was there very early for breakfast, Chris had uncharacteristically kept silent. He and his co-workers quietly worked at getting the two together and he was pleased with how things were shaping up. When she burst into tears at his question, a shaken Chris contemplated the many ways of torturing Mr. Mike Stoker, Jr. He grabbed his sister in his arms and gently rubbed her back.

 

"It's okay, Jen. We'll strip him, pour loads of honey on him, and set him in a meadow filled with flowers next to a big batch of bee hives."

 

Jen choked up, torn between laughter and tears. She smacked a hand against his chest to get him to release her so she could look him in his eyes. "No, Chris. It's not what you think. Actually, I, well, uh, he asked me out this coming Friday night. I think he's going to ask me to marry him."

 

She looked so upset that Chris just looked at her in shock. "And this is a problem why?"

 

She turned and started folding clothes. Chris waited, and then grabbed her by the arm as she moved past him to put them away. "Why, sis?"

 

Jennifer sighed and looked at Chris. "What if I'm not strong enough? Can I handle it?"

 

Chris saw the self doubt creeping into her eyes as the tears threatened to start again. He took her by the arms and rubbed his hands up and down them. "Listen, kid. I believe you can. But if for some strange reason, you still refuse to believe I know everything, call Mom. In fact," his blue eyes glittered mischievously, "invite her over for dinner tomorrow. Maybe we can wrangle some more lasagna outta her."

 

Jennifer laughed and smiled. Finally, thought Chris, a smile. He knew their family was surprised when the two young adults, who bickered constantly as children, decided to become roommates, after many disastrous roommate experiments. Their response to family and friends was "Better the wacko you know, then the wacko you don't!" Chris and Jennifer moved into a nice condo six years ago and actually became good friends. He hated when Jen wasn't happy and she kept him 'as sane as any brother can hope to get.' Now by calling Mom in as the big gun, Chris figured his role as big brother was fulfilled.

 

Jennifer went to the phone and dialed the familiar number. Chris listened to the one-sided conversation. "Hi, Mom, can you two come over tomorrow? Chris offered to cook," she stuck her tongue out at her brother. "I need to talk with you. Okay? Great! See you around 6."

 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

At the appointed time, Chris and Jen were putting the finishing touches on their dining room table. Joanne had called and said she would be coming alone, since Craig Brice needed a replacement just for a couple of hours. As Jen placed a bottle of wine on the table, the doorbell rang. Chris and Jen grinned as they both went running to the door and nearly dragged their mom in. She didn't get by often enough and it was rare for her to visit alone. Joanne laughed and let them lead her to the table, oohing and aahing over some new painting she saw or knick-knack noticed.

 

After a wonderful dinner, the three DeSotos sat down in the living room. Joanne told them both how good their "new" furniture looked. "I thought this furniture looked old and shabby when it was in your living room, Mom." Chris threw her own words back at her.

 

Joanne just laughed. "No, hon, it just looks old and shabby next to my new living room set! Here it looks great." Now Joanne looked at her kids and grinned. "It's time to spill the beans. Who needs what from me? I haven't gotten a call inviting me over here for dinner since Chris decided to become a firefighter. What gives?"

 

Jennifer blushed to the roots of her blonde hair. Chris shrugged his shoulders and smiled at his mom. "This time it's not me. Jen's got a question for you."

 

"Uh, Mom. Did I tell you I was dating Mike, Jr.?" Jennifer looked at her mom nervously.

 

"Yes, Jennifer. I believe he was one of the men you told me about. But that was six months ago. Are you two still dating?" Joanne found it hard to keep up with the constantly different list of men her daughter dated. Jen appeared to be making up for her mom's one boyfriend. Jo had tried to stay out of her daughter's dating life unless invited. Chris privately let his mom know that all of the guys she dated found out rather quickly that they would get nowhere with her. Jen was as stubborn as any full-blooded DeSoto and no man pushed her where she didn't want to go. Joanne knew neither of her children were saints but she was glad they didn't look at sex as just a recreational activity.

 

Jennifer picked up the sofa pillow next to her and plucked at it nervously. "Yes, Mom. We are. In fact, he's been the only one for awhile." Jennifer looked up at her mom and got a slightly wistful look. "I think he's going to ask me to marry him."

 

Joanne just sat there. Okay, so your daughter is twenty-eight. You knew she would get married sooner or later. MEEE? A mother-in-law? Oh my gosh! Wait a minute. What's wrong with Jen?

 

Jen started to cry. Chris was looking at Joanne as if he was trying to send her his thoughts. Then it hit her. Oh my. A firefighter. Another paramedic/firefighter. Joanne moved next to her daughter, hugging her as the tears flowed. As Chris brought the box of tissues over, thoughts raced through Joanne's mind.

 

She looked at Chris accusingly, "This was your plan all along, right? Getting the two of them together."

 

Chris looked at his mom surprised. Yeah, he knew that Mike and Jen would be a perfect couple. And, yeah, he plotted to get them together. But what was his mom accusing him of? He sputtered, feeling like a fifteen year old again, "Well, uh, yes, I kind of set them up with a little help from the rest of the crew. But, Mom, Mike's a great guy. You know that. You've known him since he was a little kid. I thought you liked him?"

 

Joanne patted Jen's back as the tears slowed. She just glared at Chris and waited for Jen to get her composure back. Then, as her children watched her, Joanne moved around the room, straightening things on shelves as she searched for her next words. She turned and looked at Jen. Quietly, she looked her daughter straight in the eyes and asked, "Do you love him?" Jen nodded, her eyes not wavering as she looked at the eyes that seemed to have secrets long hidden threatening to spill. Jo queried again, "Do you love him enough?"

 

Jen's eyes widened and she looked at her brother. He shrugged his shoulders then turned back to his mother. Her attitude was a mystery to them both. Jen looked back to her mother. "Enough? I love him. What do you mean by enough? Enough for what?"

 

Joanne tore her eyes away from her daughter and looked heavenward. Both kids waited for an explanation. Joanne went and sat in Roy's old recliner, rubbing her hands along the back and the arms as she sank into it. She motioned to Chris to move next to Jen on the couch. She gave a small smile and finally spoke. "Enough to give him up."

 

Jen and Chris just stared at their mother. "Mom, I love him. I don't ever see myself not loving him. I won't give him up." Jen's voice became stronger as she realized finally just how much she did love Michael Stoker Jr.

 

Joanne smiled and shook her head. She remembered saying the same thing to her parents so many years ago. She smiled. It seemed like just yesterday. Where did time go? And how did these kids get so old? I feel like I'm twenty years old and now my baby wants to get married. She shook her head again and sighed. "Kids. You both need to know what being a firefighter's wife is like. I know you and your Dad, even Uncle Johnny, have always thought you knew but you don't have a clue."

 

Joanne slipped off her shoes and curled her legs up under her. Chris and Jen scooted towards her end of the couch as Chris put his arm around her back to further comfort her. It appeared they were finally going to hear her thoughts on the fire department. Even when Chris stated he was going to become firemen, Joanne never said anything, just asked once if he was sure. "I want you both to know, Jen, you'll have to decide if you can face it and, Chris, you should know what a wife lives with." Joanne took a sip from the wineglass Chris set on the end table and started.

 

"A firefighter is everyone's hero. The first thoughts you have being a firefighter's wife are will he be safe? I have always hated answering the phone the days your dad and Johnny worked. I would lay out your dad's uniform, iron anything that he might have missed, and feed your dad in the morning, kiss him good-bye, tell him what our plans were for the rest of the week, and then I'd say a prayer that for the next 24 hours, the phone would not ring. I always figured if I told him our plans for the week he would know that he had to be there the next day." She grinned at her kids.

 

Jen smiled at her and then poked her brother in the ribs. She told her brother once that she was sure that was why Mom always went over the schedule with Dad even though everything was on the calendar next to the kitchen table.

 

Jo continued, "Of course, the phone always rang. Nearly all of the time it was just salesmen or teachers or friends, but every so often it was Cap, Johnny, Dixie, or dispatch. My heart would stop every time the phone rang. When it was one of the dreaded four, my heart would just stay in my throat. Dispatch never knew much, and if they called, I knew that the ER would be swamped. Cap would be so kind but he could never tell me much. Johnny, oh dear, Johnny hated to call me. He never would tell me over the phone how bad it was. It was always 'just a little thing, Jo, but can you get over here right away'. He was always sure he was at fault for what happened, somehow or other. Dix, God bless her, always was a saint. She was always straight with me. If it were a minor thing, she'd tell me not to come down, just let them send Dad home. She would let me know if I should come after finding a sitter for you guys because he was being admitted for something a bit more serious. And I knew the few times she told me to get down there now! I could be sure it was bad. She always left me with a feeling of calm though."

 

Jo looked at her audience and shook her finger. "Make sure you treat those ER nurses as queens. They are worth their weight in gold. Dixie always made sure there was a student nurse or candy striper right there to take care of you when Dad was hurt bad. You kids never saw me breakdown."

 

Jen and Chris stared at their mom. It was true. Mom cried at movies, Mother's Day gift openings and Hallmark card commercials. But Mom, that they knew, never cried over Dad. They knew she loved Dad, but they thought she was a rock. This was a major shock to them. Jo laughed. "Well, for once you two are both speechless. You couldn't really believe I was that strong, could you?" She shook her head as they both stared at her. "Maybe that wasn't the right way for me to handle it but I never wanted to scare you guys. You both seemed to enjoy visiting the hospital, except for the fact it meant that Dad wouldn't be coming home for a while. But with all the attention that Dixie made sure you got, it was almost a special treat for you. That was one reason I started inviting Dixie and the doctors over. I didn't want you two connecting them with Dad's injuries. And it must have worked, right Jen? Here you are, an nurse in NICU at Rampart."

 

Joanne was so proud of both her kids and relieved that Jen went for a career as a RN instead of being a paramedic like she declared she would be when she was fourteen. "That is the hardest part but you also have to be willing to share him. Everyone wants your husband for something. Boy Scouts was so thrilled to have him as a merit badge counselor, remember? He was automatically put in charge of the entire Council fire safety program for the Cubs and was a Council merit badge counselor for any badge that was even remotely related to firefighting or paramedic work. Girl Scouts loved him for the same reasons. They both wanted him for every campout or camp they had. Kids always seem to need first aid on those events. The schools begged him to come every year for Career Days." Jo smiled, thinking over some of the fun times they'd had. "But, for every one of those he'd go on, that meant one more day that we didn't get him."

 

Both kids remembered how often they would want to go somewhere and one of those commitments kept Roy from being able to just pick up and go. Jo looked at them both intently. "Understand, your Dad took those events very seriously. After one of his first aid courses, he found out that some of the boys involved, helped save some lives at an auto accident the next week, using the skills he taught them. He never could say no to teaching a course after that. That was one reason we divorced. I was so tired of him saying yes to everyone and, in my mind, putting us last. I was so upset and with both of my parents dying that year, I pretty much lost it." Jo reached out and took Jen's hand. "Honey, Mike cares for his work as much as your Dad ever did. You have to be able to allow him to do what he does, what he needs to do. If you can't support him every time he leaves for work or gives that extra bit of time, you can't marry him. If your fear of his not coming home each night is stronger than your love for him and what he does, what he is, then you're right. You have to be strong enough to let him go."

 

Jo grabbed Jen and hugged her tight. Releasing her, she smiled. "Honey, all I can do to help you decide is ask you this. If you don't marry Mike, will it really hurt any less if something happens to him? At least if you marry, you have many chances to make memories, to keep him alive in your heart always."

 

Jen's eyes shone brightly from the tears near the surface. She knew she could learn to be almost as strong as her mom. "Mom. Is that why you were able to do it twice?"

 

Joanne looked at her children, then got up and looked at the wedding picture from her second marriage. She sighed, "Yes. When Dixie called me and said he was asking for me, that he wanted me to know he never stopped loving me, I realized that married or not, I could not keep the hurt away. I had never stopped loving him either. That's when I made my decision and told him I would marry him as soon as he was out of that hospital bed." Chris and Jen grinned knowing how wonderful everything had turned out for them all.

 

"And I knew then I would never let her go again," her second husband stated from the doorway, motioning with a hand to the two on the couch but staring at his beautiful wife. "I let her leave once, thinking I would be able to do my job without her, but nothing was the same." Jo turned and returned the stare with passion filled eyes. "You left me once but I prayed you wouldn't turn away again. And you came back."

 

Joanne's brown eyes smiled into those beautiful blue eyes. "Thank you for forgiving my three month lapse of sanity." She kissed him hard and then turned to Jen. "You have the strength, honey. If you have the love, don't turn him away." Joanne knew as she turned to look at Jen just what her choice would be and wished her years of happiness.

 

Later that night, Joanne lay in her bed looking on the wall at the pictures of her first and second wedding. As her husband followed her gaze, he chuckled. "Two wedding nights. You were the shy one the first time. I was scared to death the second time." Joanne leaned back and kissed him. "That's alright, Roy. I think we got it right now."

 

 

Thanks again to Nexxie for the beta read in the midst of a busy RL. As always, I thank Janet for such a great place to post!