The List

 

Roy woke up slowly. Did I oversleep? Where's Joanne? His eyes seemed to refuse to open. He tried to raise his head to get out of bed when he realized this wasn't his bed. His back was being pushed at several points, keeping him from laying flat. Finally, he summoned enough effort to force his eyelids apart.

 

Damn. Didn't oversleep. Must be a fire. Try to remember. He tried to raise a hand to his head. The left one wouldn't move without threatening tremendous pain. The right one pushed aside debris as it moved upwards.

 

Okay, something must have fallen on me. Fire…Wait! Johnny and I were checking to be sure everyone got out….Johnny! Roy glanced around anxiously. He forced himself to remember. I think that's it. We split up to check both ends of the hall. Cap called us out….I waved him to the stairwell and looked up…and watched as the ceiling decided to fall down right above him. He remembered briefly thinking that Johnny was far enough away that even if, no when, the impulsive young paramedic would try to grab him, that it would already be too late. If that wasn't enough, Roy remembered the feeling of the floor caving in under him. Great! Of all the times for Johnny's luck to turn, it has to be one of the worst built buildings ever made in California. The crew knew this building wasn't in good shape. It was a flophouse in one of the crummier neighborhoods they covered. They tried to get the county to check it for code violations but it seemed that the owners must have had powerful connections. Roy hoped they all fell in the La Brea Tar Pits. It was strange. That ceiling looked like it only fell in my half of the hall. That meant that Johnny was already looking for him.

 

Roy tried to look around. He couldn't tell where he was except that he saw the remains of a small desk with a picture of a family taped to the wall behind it. All around him was debris from the building and some bits of paper and office supplies. He saw a couple of boards that appeared to be maintaining a void for him to be in. His legs hurt but he couldn't move them. At least he could feel them for now. He was pretty sure his left leg was broken, and without being able to feel it, he was afraid that his left arm was too. The likelihood that he had a concussion finally pressed into his consciousness. Gotta stay awake, Roy, he chided himself. No sleeping on the jobs while the guys look for you.

 

He noticed the lack of noise or rather the lack of what he called work noise. No crackling sounds. Good. That may mean that the fire isn't near me, no mechanical sounding whooshes, Uh oh, I may not have oxygen. Wonder how long I was out?

 

No engine noise…I may be here longer than I think. I must be buried pretty thoroughly if it's this quiet here. Roy tried not to think of the groans he heard from the timbers above and around him. He noticed some water on the walls but it didn't seem to be so much as to make him think that they were spraying water near him.

 

Now, what to do to stay awake? He thought about yelling but after trying to call out once, realized that he must have breathed in something for he couldn't get his voice to go very far. I'll just rest it and wait till I hear them. The idea of looking back over his past didn't quite appeal to him either. I'll wait a few hours before I start seeing my life pass before my eyes.

 

Looking around again, Roy spotted a pen. He was lying on a couple of pieces of paper. He decided to play tic-tac-toe with himself. After two games of that, he was already bored and fighting to keep his eyes open. Come on, Joanne, give me something to do so I won't fall asleep. He thought of his loving wife who was probably coming up with one or two more items for his "Honey, do" list. As he moved a piece of paper with his right hand, the increasingly tired paramedic noticed this paper was thinner. In fact, he recognized it as being the same type of pad Joanne would put his list on. There were small boxes next to scored lines with the title on top "Things to Do Today". This some kind of sign God? You want me to plan what I need to do when I get out? Roy wasn't overly religious but as they learned in the army: There are no atheists in foxholes. If God was trying to tell him something, he picked a great time with no other diversions available. The only other alternatives he could come up with were writing stories for his favorite childhood show, The Lone Ranger, (which he had given up doing as a freshman in high school. No one else would have been able to understand that obsession.) Or writing farewell letters to family and friends. He and Joanne had talked about some airplane crash survivors who did that once. They both felt it would have been hard to know that your loved ones had come to the point of surrender. He decided then that he would live his life letting Joanne and the kids know everyday that he loved them so he would never feel the need to write one of those letters. So that left writing his own list.

 

Okay, Number 1. Got my paycheck today. Need to go to the bank first. Number 2. Have to go to the hardware store next. The garage door needs a new lock. He started to look forward to crossing each of these off. He and Joanne would occasionally decide that after five, or maybe two or three things were checked off his list, it would be time for a little together time on the front porch swing. He smiled thinking of that. Maybe I need to do my own personal "Honey do" list for me and the family.

 

Next, he wrote down, go for a walk. Chris was going to be 10 this summer and was already starting to balk at being seen with his parents. Maybe they could get away and go for a short hike behind Johnny's place. We'll grab Johnny too and go up to that spot where we can see most of the valley.

 

Roy shifted and groaned. His leg was hurting more now and his headache was beginning to pound. Number 4. Say a prayer. At least I hurt. Some people are beyond that now. Number 5. Call up the baseball league and volunteer to help coach Chris' team. He had gotten a call asking for his help and thought that he didn't have the time for it. Now he realized that even if the grass had to be cut a few days later that wouldn't be as important as watching his son grow up. Number 6. Go to the beach. Joanne and I haven't walked along the shore since she was pregnant with Jennifer. She looked so beautiful. Number 7. Fishing. You know, I haven't talked to Pete Malloy in ages. Maybe I'll call him and see if he wants to go to the lake. We used to have a great time fishing.

 

Number 8. Go sit on the porch swing with one of my favorite girls.

 

Number 9. Fix the backyard jungle gym. Jennifer had been bugging him to fix it. The plastic swing broke when Chris or one of his buddies stood on it and pushed as they jumped away from it. It just seemed to get pushed lower on his list. If he didn't get it done right away, Jennifer would be too big to want too. She loved when her Daddy would push her on the swing so high that she could "see" Uncle Johnny's place.

 

Roy grinned, then caught his breath as the pounding in his head seemed to vibrate his whole body. He forced himself to again concentrate on the list instead of lying down and resting like he sooo wanted to do.

 

Number 10. Plan a huge party. He and Joanne were thinking about this for nearly a year now. They owed so many people for things they did to help them out when Roy was working extra hours when staffing was low, or when Jo had to leave the kids on the spur of the moment if he or Johnny were at the hospital. They wanted to invite their neighbors, the crew, and even the Rampart ER staff so all their friends could get to know each other. Maybe that joker Eldon down the street can help Johnny and me come up with a great prank to get Chet with. I would love to laugh right now. Who was he kidding? Right now he would just like to be able to breathe. He started to lay his head down before jerking back up. Sorry, Jo. I am trying to stay here. Now where was I?

 

Number 11. Tomorrow is Sunday. Church. Somehow he started using work as an excuse to miss services. He still made sure his kids went with Jo but he would stay home and sleep. Sometimes he even grumbled when Jo would grab money from his wallet for the offering. Gotta start going. If I were honest with myself, I'd admit I miss it. Better start throwing a little extra in for the benevolence fund also.

 

Number 12. Wow, I must not be getting enough oxygen. Call Joanne's mom and see how she's doing. I don't like being here alone for just a few hours. It must be tough for her, rambling around in that house alone most of the time. Maybe we can invite her to visit again. Roy dropped the pen and rubbed his head. His leg was throbbing, his left arm was asleep, his head felt like 76 trombones were pounding on him, and that he was shaking everywhere. Great! Shock! Get it together Roy. They have to be coming soon.

 

Number 13. Joanne….Joanne….He looked down at the paper and realized what he had written. Hey, this is my list! Roy grinned weakly despite himself. MAKE LOVE ALL NIGHT LONG. Number 14. WAKE UP AND START OVER. Roy put his head down and remembered the last night they were together.

 

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"Roy," a voice from seemingly far away called out.

 

"Go away," Roy answered huskily. "I'm having a wonderful dream."

 

The voice came back closer. "Roy, answer some questions first."

 

Roy was very annoyed. "Go away. I'm making love to my wife and don't want to be bothered."

 

The voice laughed softly and then sighed. "Partner. C'mon. Give me a break. I need ya to wake up. Ya know you got to be dreaming if I'm in the room with you and Jo."

 

Roy struggled, reluctantly, to open his eyes. His partner's eyes twinkled down at him, his crooked grin just about as big as it could get. "Alright Roy!" The other men all cheered as his eyes became a little less glassy.

 

"You found me." Roy said.

 

"You doubted me?" Johnny returned.

 

Roy lay back down, watching Johnny work, thinking that he had forgotten something. What was it?